Things I have noticed recently:
The sign outside the Post Office at Ifield reads Ilfield Post Office
The guy who sits next to me at work never says thank you. He just laughs.
Leaving a company under your married name means nobody asks you to return stuff you had out under your maiden name.
The guy who sits next to me at work always takes a cake when it’s someone’s birthday, but hasn’t had a birthday himself for 2 years.
Every time you ring a wrong number a South African answers.
Tesco don’t bag up their jam donuts before 7am.
The best laid plans never work out. It’s best not to plan at all, particularly when booze is involved.
Tonight is my leaving do. If you think it's me you see drunk in Clapham, you probably is.
