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November 20, 2003 

And now, a message for Bernie.

They'll never make their money back, you know. I told him. I said to him, 'Bernie.' I said, 'They'll never make their money back.'
I am BT, bringing people together.
Now, more on Dubya from our northern correspondant.
From certain preparations going on in this neck of the woods I would say that GWB's definitely coming North! But he'll be perfectly safe because according to our local Airport owners "No-one knows where Teesside is" Mum
Well I can think of around 120 people who know where Teesside is, but I trust them not to bomb it or anything - I think they had quite a good time last time they were there! Although come to think of it, we did have to give out a lot of directions, some of which weren't followed all that well.
Is it just me, or is the wording of this slightly misleading "The working week is 5 days of 42 hours, including lunch breaks." (from the patent office). I wonder if they get time to brainstorm? Bernie
My personal favourite from the howstrange galleries that one! And finally...
Mmm... Hola Hoops!
Hula Hoops surely? But agreed, they're in my top 3 crisps definitely.