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June 21, 2002 

I'm going to throw up now. My hands are shaking. My legs are shaking. My vision is blurred. Is this a normal reaction to football? It is for me. I was the same at Wembley, when Middlesbrough failed to beat Leicester (and incidentally then lost in the replay at Old Trafford which I couldn't afford to go to). I was the same when on the last day of the same season, when we were relegated by 3 points, the same 3 points we'd given away by not playing Blackburn. And I'm the same today.

Advance warning to anyone planning on being sympathetic. Don't. You'll either get your head bitten off or me in tears, depending on my mood swings today. I'm not nice to be around at the moment. Save your post match debriefs and discussions about David Seaman's soft goal, and Beckham's free kicks, and Owen's fitness, and Ronaldinho's sending off and Ronaldo's subsitution for tomorrow. Leave me to mourn today.